Early Wednesday morning I woke up to laying in a puddle of moisture. I quickly realized it was milk as my breast felt like they were about to burst. I looked at my sleeping baby on the other side of me and knew I needed to get the milk out and I needed her help. I tried changing her diaper as milk continued to steadily drip from my breast. She continued to sleep like a log. As I begin to feel hopeless I remembered I had a breast pump. I slipped from bed, grabbed my breast pump and attachments, and went into the extra bedroom.
Whenever you began to pump with a breast engorged with milk it hurts. Dear goodness it hurts. But as the pressure begins to lighten in your breast, the pain becomes pleasing. Thankful. As I sat there in hopes of getting ALL the milk out I began to re-trace my day and how my breast got so engorged to begin with.
Jade is my cheerleader. She cheers for her middle school and Tuesday they had a football game. I went to the game to watch and support my little girl. To attend a football game with a infant I have to move things around like a superwoman.
Ryan had gymnastics practice after school so I dropped her off at 4. Then I had to get back home and prepare dinner as I know we all won’t be back home until after 7:30. Jade’s game started at 5:00 so I had less then a hour. But I got it all done, a little late, but it was done. As I unfolded my chair to sit down and watch Jade’s game my breast began to leak. My baby girl last ate at 2:30 and it was now 5:30 my breast were telling me it was time. My breast felt over full and I needed her to eat. I got her out of her stroller and into my lap and begin to fight with her. With all the noise and people I knew it would be a ‘suck, suck, turn’ type of a feeding. I knew my breast will probably be over exposed due to her being so curious, but I couldn’t use a cover. We are in South Georgia in September aka hot. To cover my baby while she eats would just be wrong. I can honestly say I usually don’t use a cover but at a middle school event like this I think sometimes maybe I should, as hormones are in over load at this age. This moment and time I just could not for my baby’s sake.
As I sat there assisting as I could with Harper’s ‘suck, suck, turn’ feeding a young boy walked by looking at my baby and of course my chest. His friend that was behind him pushed him. ” Stop looking at her she is breastfeeding her baby there is nothing to look at about a baby eating”. Both boys were middle school age, but one boy decided to hold his friend accountable for his actions. That’s when I realized the progressive steps breastfeeding has taken in the most recent years.
When I nursed Jade just 12 years ago for me to sit in church with a cover on it was still deemed inappropriate. Here I sit now with a baby exposing my breast as she sucks and turns her head to see all that is happen around her and a young man walks by and defends it. Wow. I am thankful that I apart of a movement that is normalizing breastfeeding, normalizing motherhood, normalizing being a woman. I am so glad I didn’t use a cover.
As I sat listening to the repetitions of my pump, I realize this was when my breast probably did not get empty because Harper was more focused on the hustle and bustle of the game. As my 5 oz cup began to fill up with breast milk I could feel nothing but thankfulness in me. Despite my pain, exhaustion and almost inability to breath due to the pressure, I was so glad that I had a superpower. I make milk! And my superpower is changing the world.